Men are like...
- Laxatives. They irritate the shit out of you.
- Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are.
- Vacations. They never seem to be long enough.
- Bank Machines. Once they withdraw they lose interest.
- Weather. Nothing can be done to change them.
- Blenders. You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
- Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
- Coffee. The best ones are rich, warm and can keep you up all night long.
- Commercials. You can't believe a word they say.
- Department Stores. Their clothes are always half off.
- Government bonds. They take so long to mature.
- Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
- Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
- Popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
- Snowstorms. You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
- Lava Lamps. Fun to look at, but not very bright.
- Parking Spots. All the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
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